Its Friday once more and its time to ask the all important question "Where are we going tonight?". After last Fridays massive comedown and the guilt that goes with chemically induced recreational activities, I find myself hesitating to succumb to the all powerfull urge to binge on seratonin and dopamine. My fellow weekend warriors are also feeling the drain and a "clean" weekend is long overdue. However, this scenario is a common scenario and the delimma usually sorts itself out by 3:00 am. I guess it will be another verse of Clubbers Comedown Chorus on Saturday.

Before my recent exposure to ketamine, I've never taken this disassociative on its own. I realised long ago that I had very little tolerance to K and could detect the smallest ammounts in ecstacy pills. I would usually feel it within the first hour or so of ingestion before the emphatic or speedy qualities of the other chemicals kick in. I would feel all groggy and drunk and my limbs will start feeling numb. On top of this, I would start feeling sleepy. This is bad especially when you're out hitting the clubs. What I've found is that I seem to get grumpy and upset on K.

Anyway I decided to try a dose of K without being under the influence of other drugs. I thought maybe being in a familiar cozy environment would help me relax and appreciate it more instead of trying to fight it to stay awake. So in the name of experimentation and for future reference, I decided to try once and for all if K was my cup of uhm.... horse tranquiliser. So I insufflated two lines of the stuff. I become relaxed and drunk-like after about 10-15 minutes and felt my head throbbing. A little later I started to feel dizzy and nauseous. This lasted a whole 45 minutes and I thought it would never go away. This feeling is not unlike having a massive hangover on alchohol. I felt like throwing up all the time and finally did after half an hour. Anyways I was glad when the effects slowly wore off.

I have heard about the near death inducing qualities of K and would love to try to get to the elusive K hole but maybe ketamine is not for me.

It's Sunday and I feel like I've just been through all four stomachs of a cows digestive system. I feel scattered and uncontrollably gloomy. Life feels like crap. Its been like that on my past few trips. Its starting to feel like it isnt worth it anymore, the good times dont feel as good anymore and the comedowns seem to be harsher and longer. I dont feel emphatic anymore. Maybe I'm just gonna stop all this shit.............until Friday.

My brightest star's My inner light, let it guide me
Experience and innocence, bleed inside me
Hallucinogens can open me, or untie me
I drift in inner space, free of time
I find a higher state of grace, in my mind

I've glimpsed, I have tasted, fantastical places
My soul's an oasis, higher than the sun 

I'm higher than the sun

 

What is sanity? What makes a person normal? Who determines normality? Does majority equal normality? Who am I to say that the guy walking on the street without shoes muttering gibberish is insane. Maybe he's normal and I'm crazy. I have my quirks......... I may not talk to myself audibly but what makes me saner than the next person.